Sprint season is over. My record is unburdened by a medal count. My heart is not broken by this; nor is my spirit. Each loss had within it a personal victory.
My first race, I stayed in my lane despite a terrible crosswind. Later that day I raced with my new Quad crew. We got off to a good start that was interrupted when the stroke seat’s riggers separated from the boat. We were heartbroken but got right back on the water the following week.
My 2nd race, I didn’t even put my boat in the water. The conditions were hazardous and I was watching other boats capsize and frigid rowers brought ashore. Hypothermia was not in my race plan and the conditions were beyond my skill level. I scratched.
My 3rd race, I stayed with the pack well over the 1st 500 meters. I was ready to do my final 250 when I realized in 2 strokes I was out of my lane. I did what I had to do to get out of the buoys. I was glad to not hit any. I started my sprint again but heard the finish horn toot twice. I was easily in 3rd place in the 4 boat race.
My final sprint race of the year is a tale of woe and wisdom. My club was there for that one. I would get to race my single and the Quad. I arrived at the venue early. I rigged my boat. When the rest of the club showed up and we rigged the quad and other boats. I set about doing my part to set up the team table and helping the crews that needed help. Finally, my time to launch approached. When I set the boat in the water, I stood completely bewildered at the dock. I had rigged my boat backwards. I snatched the boat out of the water with the help of my ground crew….AKA my husband. We moved with haste up the river bank and back to the slings. My club was there. My hands were shaking and I couldn’t hold the tools. They took the tools from my hands and set about correcting the rigging. A club friend stood by me as my eyes welled up and I was cussing my stupidity. “Glenda, you got this” she said. “Breathe, we got you”
BREATHE, WE GOT YOU. This is what it means to be part of something special. A team. A club. People who become friends for life. I watched as my husband and teammates fixed my mistake. I won’t say that I got immediately calm. But I did feel a little spark reignite my optimism.
The correction made, we returned to the dock. I sprinted to the start, I got to the line with less than 30 seconds to spare. They called the start. The race was against the river current and against a 14mph wind. In the first 250, I thought, “This is stupid. You should have just scratched.” BREATHE, WE GOT YOU. The Adrenaline was exhausted from the effort to just get to the start line. BREATHE, WE GOT YOU. Another stroke. Another push against the wind and current. I started counting by 5s, not 10. I just had to find the next stroke. Winning would once again be out of the cards for me. I just wanted my friends, my husband, and my ego to see me across the line.
If I had run the 1st 500 as well as I ran the 2nd, maybe I wouldn’t have finished that race in last place. But the victory was in finishing. Finishing surrounded by people who will say “WE GOT YOU.”
A few hours later, our Quad finally got to cross the finish line. Again no medal, but the riggers held and the crew crossed the finish with the race plan executed as planned. We were happy.
What I have found is the ego is not always a friend. The ego never says “Breathe, I have you.” The ego prefers to manage expectations. Motivation comes from another place. The motivation to improve, test, compete, and strive to improve again, that, must come from the heart. And when the ego tries to manage the heart, motivation must spark from those who value you and remind you to just breathe. There is something special about being surrounded by people, family, and words that are supportive. This is where I learn to be a better sculler and maybe even a better person.
Defeat is not when you finish last. Defeat is giving up.
So, when is the first Head Race?